"Sweetie are you alright? Come on, you have to stay awake for me, Okay?"
"Dad, there's blood coming from under Mom!"
"Sweetie, we're going to have to flip you over."
"Howard is it bad?"
"No we just need to tie something around it to stop the bleeding, you just keep signalling the boat OK"
"Help! Don't you hear me? My moms bleeding and she needs to see a doctor!"
"Dad I don't think they hear me. Let's face the facts dad we're going to die here."
"Jennifer don't say that. I know things may seem bad, but as long as we have hope we'll survive. Now come on, let's gather up whatever we can from the wreckage - flashlights, water food anything could help."
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDarren--great start. I like the suspense of not quite knowing what has happened.
ReplyDeleteDarren you did a great job creating suspense right off the bat and leaving the reader wanting to read more. The only thing that I think you should include is the names of characters and who is speaking in the dialogue, it leaves me a little confused.
ReplyDelete